The Four Stages of Denial
by Doc Scratch
Summary: MelloxNear, set in Wammy House days. Story also features Matt, a smidgen of Roger, some L visitation, and some random background orphans. It’s pretty much selfexplanatory beyond that. Rated for Matt and Mello's exciting vocabulary.
1. Stage 1

A/N: More MelloxNear! This is actually going to be a pretty long one... five whole chapters! Yes, five. I know it says the four stages of denial but... well, you'll see.

Disclaimer: I can't even begin to describe how much I want to own DeathNote. But I don't.

Title: The Four Stages of Denial

Summary: MelloxNear, set in Wammy House days. Story also features Matt, a smidgen of Roger, some L visitation, and some random background orphans. It's pretty much self-explanatory beyond that. No Linda though. I _refuse_ to use Linda. **Everyone** else uses Linda in young MxN fics, so I refuse to!

Stage 1: Anger

It wasn't everyday you found out that your up-to-now unquestioned reign had been usurped.

Mello was livid. Mello was infuriated. Mello was pretty darn mad, even for Mello.

If ever it were possible for human anger to manifest itself as a physical aura, it would be the day that Mello walked into the classroom at Wammy House, casually glanced at the gradesheet on the wall, and saw that he was _second._

When it came to academia, Mello had never been second before in his life. And although no one else saw it as a big deal Mello took it as a great injustice and a vicious attack upon his person that someone had scored higher than him. When class ended that day, Mello was out the door before anyone else. He was gritting his teeth and focusing on one question more intensely than any he'd faced before in his young life.

'Who the **hell** is _Near_!?'

Three rooms in from the Wammy House's front door was a small, well-lit playroom. It didn't have much in it, and most of the children preferred to spend their time outdoors or doing schoolwork. A small, albino, pajama'd boy sat with one knee up on the plush carpet of this playroom. He was systematically putting together a puzzle upside-down and had no idea that a fearsome blonde was currently plotting his demise.

Near allowed the smallest of smiles to grace his face as the final piece of the puzzle settled into place. Success could be so blissful.

Matt was playing Zelda: The Four Seasons; having switched on his gameboy just as soon as the instructor had let them out the classroom door.

Matt had been best friends with Mello for some time now, and he knew better than anyone that when the blonde was in a mood this dark you just. Didn't. Say. Anything. You waited until Mello simmered down, was well into his third chocolate bar, and _then _you brought up the question of what his problem was. This routine had served Matt well, and he wasn't about to abandon it now just because Mello had the expression of one about to behead something small and helpless. Mello was flexible; the small and helpless thing could easily become Matt if careful conduct was not observed.

However the options were about to be taken out of Matt's hands. This was because a foolish young bystander had obliviously mentioned that 'the new kid, Near or whatever' was 'hanging out in the first floor playroom.'

Target locked, and missile Mello was off. Matt experienced temporary displacement as air filled the area Mello had occupied nanoseconds earlier. Then the red-head was running after Mello, shutting off his game as he went and preparing to play his usual part of damage control for his best friend.

Business as usual.

"Who the hell do you think you are!?" Something thin, blonde, and obviously pissed shouted from behind Near. The boy paused, calculating the odds of someone else being this harpy's target. The odds were not in his favor.

TBC...

A/N: Somewhat short, yes, but it's only the first chapter. Review if you want more!


	2. Stage 2

A/N: I don't know if Mello is actually German or not, just like I don't know if Near is actually an albino or not. Those are just my opinions. I'm going to play the 'artistic liberties' card here and say please don't bug me about it. Actually I've taken liberties with pretty much the whole Wammy House set up. There wasn't much detail about it in the story. If you don't like it… well, tough. Bite me. Also I'm not sure if the translations are totally right, so if you know that they aren't then please tell me. Thank you to Huntershivers for correcting my translation!

Disclaimer: Lack of ownership still firmly in place.

Stage 2: Bargaining

"Well-" Near began, but didn't get far.

"Shut up! God, are you that arrogant!? You think you can just come here and show off, it was probably pure luck anyway!" Mello wasn't one to hold anything back.

"...What are you talking about?" A very confused Near asked, still maintaining his monotone despite the spitfire facing him.

"Don't play dumb! You're Near, right? Don't try and deny it!" Mello pointed a finger threateningly.

"Why would I deny that? And I'm not 'playing dumb' at all. I simply don't know what you're so angry about." Near tried to explain. Mello snorted derisively, but for some reason he wasn't as angry as before. He examined this 'Near' in detail. White hair, white pajamas, gray eyes, pale skin. Probably an albino. The boy had evidently just finished a puzzle, and was on the floor in a position that was a cross between kneeling and sitting, with one slender arm wrapped around his raised knee.

This fluffy, white thing was the one who had beaten Mello's grade? He certainly didn't _look_ particularly formidable. In fact, Mello thought as Near raised a hand to twirl a lock of his pale hair, he was kind of cute.

It was about that moment that Matt stumbled into the room.

"Holy crap Mello, what'd you eat for breakfast, rocket fuel?" Matt gasped for breath, leaning over and placing his hands on his knees for support.

"Oh. Sorry Matt." Mello had enough grace to look a bit sheepish. "Forgot about you for a minute…"

"Obviously." Matt replied, having more or less regained his composure. "Oh, hi. You must be Near." Matt smiled. Near nodded, raising an eyebrow at this interesting development. "I'm Matt, this is Mello." Mello cleared his throat, and Matt hastily corrected himself. "I mean, the Great and Powerful Mello."

"I see…" Near said solemnly.

"So, when did you get here?" Matt adjusted his trademark goggles expertly.

"About three days ago." Near answered. "So… why were you yelling at me?" Near directed this query at Mello.

"Because you were conceited enough to actually beat my grade in criminal psychology class by two points. Everyone knows that _I'm_ the smartest one here." Mello informed Near.

"Really?" Near asked, showing interest for the first time.

"Yeah. But don't worry, I'll overlook it _just this once_. Because you're new and all." Mello assured him. Matt stared at Mello in amazement. Although the blonde undoubtedly _knew_ the definition of the word leniency, he rarely put it into practice. Especially concerning something he had been so worked up about mere moments ago. Matt concluded that there really must be something special about this Near kid. Like maybe he had some sort of calming effect against Mello the way some people did with animals. God knew Mello was wild enough to be an animal, at times. "Got it?"

"I believe I do." Near replied. Mello smiled and nodded, satisfied.

"Great. C'mon Matt, let's go play some soccer." Mello ordered. Matt nodded enthusiastically, soccer was always fun. "Hey Near, you wanna come?"

"No thanks…" Near turned back to his puzzle, which he held up to allow all the pieces to fall apart.

"Whatever." Mello shrugged and ran out of the room, Matt following close behind.

…

"What. The. FUCK!?"

The grade sheet was updated daily, as any and all work could affect the rank of the orphans. It had been three days. Mello was still second.

"Mello!" Roger sounded more resigned than upset, "Don't use language like that."

"Was zum Teufel!?" Mello repeated his earlier statement in German, with an added "Dummer alter Mann…" for good measure. Roger gave up with a sigh. That was the problem with being the caretaker for a genius orphanage: the kids were all smarter than you.

Matt saw the return of that ever-so-terrifying fury and made a feeble attempt to placate his best friend. It was for naught. Mello was zooming towards the first floor playroom faster than you could say 'bloody death' and Matt could only follow at a more human rate.

"NEAR!" Mello shoved the door open so hard it bounced against the wall and rebounded, but by then he was already inside the room and so was spared an embarrassing hit to the face.

"Yes, Mello?" Near replied calmly, he was completing a puzzle with the picture facing the carpet this time.

"You are NOT smarter than me! No one is smarter than me!" Mello insisted.

"The rankings say different, Mello." Near observed emotionlessly. Mello glared in disbelief at this pale brat. The only one who had ever challenged him like this, the only one to achieve his academic level, and the kid was two years younger!

"For now." Mello snarled. "But that'll change! We're rivals now, and I'll beat you, Near."

Unexpectedly, Near smiled. "I look forward to it."

TBC…

A/N: Hehe, so yes… we're already seeing signs of attraction. Although the signs are firmly buried under Mello-rage and Near-naivety for the moment. It's only a matter of time though. Review please!

Oh yeah, the German translates (as far as I know) to:

Was zum Teufel!?- What the fuck!?

Dummer alter Mann...- Stupid old man...


	3. Stage 3

A/N: I am displeased... that is, I'm happy because there are tons of people faving and alerting this story, but only like half of that number have reviewed, and only one person reviewed the second chapter. To those that did review, thank you so much! Consider this chapter dedicated to all of you! Special thanks goes to Rambie and Rinna-Kun, who have reviewed almost all of my DN stories! I love you two!

Disclaimer: The ownership... I lack it...

Stage 3: Depression

"Come on Mello, it's not so bad." Matt said gently. They were sitting across from each other on Mello's bed in their shared room. Mello was chewing on a chocolate bar and studying a textbook almost too large to fit on his lap, a stack of as-of-yet uneaten chocolate rested close on his right.

"Every time, Matt. Every test, paper, worksheet. He beats me every time, and not even by much. Eight points, five points, two goddamned points! And have you ever seen him study!?" Mello exploded, Matt hesitantly shook his head.

"No… though I heard Octo saying that Near had borrowed a book from him once." Matt offered.

"Doesn't matter! Here I am, studying hard night after night. It's been weeks since I last played soccer, and he's down there putting together his stupid puzzles, or his stupid legos, or crashing his goddamned stupid robots together!" Mello shoved the rest of his current chocolate bar in his mouth and chewed ferociously. Matt took advantage of Mello's full mouth to put in his opinion.

"Maybe you're trying too hard." The redhead suggested. "I mean all this stress can't be good for you. Before you were always number one with only a bit of studying, and Near only beat you by a little. Now you're studying twenty-four seven and he's still only beating you by a handful of points." Mello paused and considered this. Then he sighed.

"Thanks for trying Matt… but it's just no use. I wasn't stressed out in the beginning and he was still beating me." Mello stared at the open book in front of him. Matt was alarmed. True this was a big change for Mello and it was undoubtedly a shock, but for Mello to be acting this… well, mellow, was just frightening.

"Dude… are you alright? I've never seen you this down."

"You know perfectly well I'm not alright! I have to beat him, Matt! I _have_ to! But I can't!" Mello exclaimed, but it lacked his usual fire. "That little jerk… it's like he's taunting me! It's not fair; no one should be that intelligent!"

"Mello… no offense, but that last part was just ridiculous." Matt pointed out. Mello sighed.

"I know… I'm just so frustrated. Because I can't seem to beat him even though I know I can! I mean, I've beaten everyone else! There's no way I'm gonna let a little ball of fluff get the better of me. Not for long, anyway." Mello took a ferocious bite of his chocolate bar. Matt stared at him, and something clicked in the gamer's mind. Maybe it was due to years of being Mello's best friend, maybe it was because he'd played through so many games' storylines and could now figure out dramas like this, Matt didn't know. What Matt did know was that something fishy was going down with his best friend, and it wasn't just the academic thing.

"If I didn't know better…" Matt began, and Mello looked up at him curiously. "I'd say you… _like_ Near." Following this statement was a deadly silence.

"In that case I'd say it's a very good thing, for you, that you _do_ know better." Mello's voice was low and warning, the threatening undertone laced with a barely contained sadistic tinge that made Matt shudder.

"Uh… y-yeah. Totally. _So_ know better. Don't even know why I brought it up." Matt laughed nervously. Well, at least the melancholy mood seemed to have dissipated.

TBC…

A/N: Really short chapter... Lol poor Matt... He's so adorable. And such a good friend! 8D Ya I love Matt lots. Not as much as Mello, but lots. Anyway... once again I cannot stress enough how much reviews mean to me. They make me so happy and inspire me to be the best writer I can be. So please, just take a minute and give a review. It would mean a lot to me.


	4. Interlude: L's Visit

A/N: Yaaay! I got such wonderful reviews! You're all such lovely readers, I swear. Anyway... And now you find out why there are five chapters even though there are only four stages! L APPEARANCE FOR THE WIN! -Gushes and gurgles happily- ...lol sorry about that, but L is my all-time favorite character. I love him even more than Mello, and I've been looking for ways to slip him into my MelloxNear DN stories for... well, ever. I could not allow this opportunity to pass me by. Even though it means taking a lot of liberties with the timeline that may or may not be AU. I don't know exactly how long Mello and Near were supposed to have been in the orphanage together before the whole L... thing... -dies of sadness, again, but resurrects- But uh, yeah... so I just made some assumptions for the sake of the story. These assumptions do not apply to my other stories. So Mello and Near are in the story, for the sake of the timeline, about thirteen (Mello) and eleven (Near). That is all.

Disclaimer: Nope. No Deathnote owning goin' on here.

Interlude: L's Visit

It was surprisingly long before Mello ran into Near in the flesh again. Near was more often than not found in the first floor playroom and Mello saw no reason to seek him out. Not until he had a victory to rub in the albino's face anyway. So they went on, each following his own schedule, until one special day. The one day a year that L himself came to visit the orphanage.

It was a different day every year, for security purposes. The youngest orphans were put to bed early, the older but lower-ranking orphans were sent on a field trip. Only the five highest ranking orphans were permitted to attend the L visit. At the moment, those rankings were thus:

1. Near

2. Mello

3. Matt

4. Core

5. Octo

Octo was a freckled glasses-wearing boy who liked gossiping, microbiology, and not much else. Core was a black-haired girl who was quite tall for her age (ten) and very self-conscious about it; her specialty was forensics. When the five met in the parlor of Wammy's House, Mello was in a particularly poisonous mood. This would be his first L visit where he wasn't the highest rank. Matt stood, as always, just behind Mello and played his game. If the redhead was a little more desperately focused on his game than usual, his goggles would prevent anyone from noticing.

Near was in a corner of the room, sitting in his usual position. His expression was just as apathetic as ever, although he was twirling his hair rather violently. Core was leaning against a wall with her knees bent and her hands in her pockets. She was chewing fiercely on her bottom lip, which looked as though no amount of chapstick would restore it, and her eyes kept darting around anxiously. Octo was carefully staying as far away from Mello as possible, even though the blonde's rage was clearly directed at the albino in the corner.

This was the scene that L, accompanied by Roger and Watari, walked into. The detective inspected the orphans carefully as he moved to an easychair in the center of the room, where he assumed his usual position of knees against chest and bare toes curling over the cushions edge. Near, having never met L before although he'd heard a great deal about him, was returning the examination full-force.

"Well… Hello to you all." L began. Core blushed and cut her own lip with a particularly hard bite, though if she noticed it she gave no sign. Octo shoved his glasses up his nose. Matt shut off and tucked away his game, and Mello transferred his attention from glaring hatefully at Near to an idolizing gaze resting upon L. "I see that someone new is here… and that Linda has had to abstain this year. I don't believe I know you…?"

"…I'm Near." Near stated simply, and tugged at his white hair viciously. He didn't seem to have anything else to say.

"Ah yes. Well, as you all know, this is no mere orphanage, but a training facility in which young geniuses can hope to become the world's next greatest detective. The next L." L continued. "On that note, I must inform you that my visits here will be ceased until further notice."

"What!? But you only visit once a year!" Mello protested. "If you're taking on a new case, surely it won't be that long before you've solved it!" L smiled at the blonde.

"As you deduced, Mello, I am planning to take on a new case. The Kira case, in fact." L replied. There was a gasp from Core, and Octo cleared his throat once or twice, though he remained silent. L went on. "Kira is very dangerous, that much I know already. I do not want my visits to be hazardous to you, myself, or Watari. I cannot yet say how long the case will take to solve, but one thing is certain. Kira is not your average murderer, at least not in the method he uses, and I have surmised that he is quite intelligent in his own right. Therefore I am informing you now, so that I may do it personally, in the event that the case does span years." Silence reigned.

"Kira has killed people in prisons, people who had no visitors. From this a guess can be chanced that he does not require physical contact to commit murder. Mind you, it's not proof, but the odds are good. If Kira does not need to make physical contact or even be in close proximity to his victims, then doesn't that mean that he could kill you if you go up against him?" Near asked, in what was the longest speech anyone in the orphanage had heard him make before. L appraised the small albino, as though trying to memorize every detail.

"That is true." L answered. Angered, and not to be outdone, Mello broke in.

"But Kira can't just kill anyone he wants. Only the criminals whose names and faces are known have been killed. So he probably needs one or both of those to kill someone." The blonde smirked, proud of his own realization. L raised an eyebrow and glanced between Mello and Near. L wouldn't have needed to be a genius to see that there was tension amidst those two. Then again, he had thought there probably would be. He was aware that Near was currently ranking higher than Mello, and that Mello did not take defeat well.

"I had already come to those conclusions. The question here is, why is it that you two seem to know so much about this case?" L inquired. "Has it not been made clear that you are merely in training here, and that it is not considered safe for you to be involved in any cases until you come of age or I die?" Mello and Near were quiet. L sighed. "Nevermind. I am proud of the two of you, that was incredibly good detective work considering where you likely obtained your information. However I do not want you meddling in any more active cases. Am I clear?" The two rivals nodded, Mello looked extremely pleased though. "Now, surely you all have more to talk about."

Hours passed as the five discussed their lessons, L alternately quizzing them, praising them, and correcting them. In the beginning all the orphans were able to speak, but slowly Mello and Near began dominating the conversation. Not long after a heated argument in which L proclaimed them both right, much to Mello's frustration, the black-haired detective rose from his seat to go.

"It has been a wonderful visit." L smiled warmly at the group of assembled children. "And I will see you as soon as the Kira case is solved." Just as L went to leave though, Near posed a final question.

"But what if you fail?"

Everyone in the room turned to stare at the small boy. The possibility hadn't even occurred to the other orphans. Fail? L couldn't fail. He was _L_.

"I won't." L stated confidently. "I wouldn't stand for it if I lost. I'll beat Kira, and see him punished for his crimes. Because I am justice. And justice always prevails." And with a small wave, L walked out.

TBC…

A/N: -Squees- OMGLISTHEBESTTHINGEVUR! -Cough- Sorry... BUTITSTRUE! -Ahem- Yes... So yeah, chapter is a bit longer then the previous one, though still short. But it has L, which (provided I did a good job of portraying L) makes it the best chapter so far. In my opinion anyway. Gawd I am such an L-fanatic. I'm going to go bash my head against the wall until I stop craving strawberry cheesecake and wanting to write an L/Raito lemon. I scare myself sometimes... Do keep up with the marvelous reviews please darlings!


	5. Stage 4

A/N: Final chapter! Woo! Thanks everyone who read and reviewed! You guys are all made of fantastic and incredible and I'm very grateful to you all! Hope you enjoy the ending!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Deathnote.

Stage 4: Acceptance

After L's visit, Matt noticed that something changed in Mello's view of Near. The blonde fought to beat him just as fiercely as ever, his ranting to Matt continued just as often, and he still never went to the first floor playroom.

But the change was there.

During his rants, Mello had stopped any implications that Near was cheating, and even used the word 'intelligent' in a descriptive sense several times. His studying became more calm and fervent, and he could be persuaded outside every now and again. Matt saw that during these rare times, Mello would always shoot glances back towards the orphanage. He would focus particularly on the window of the first floor playroom, as though he could gain some kind of enlightenment on his rival if he caught a glimpse of him through that window.

One day, precisely three months after L's visit, Matt walked into the room he shared with Mello and found Near there, sitting on the floor alone in the empty room. Matt wondered for the briefest of moments if he'd entered the wrong room. Then he wondered how Near had even gotten here, since he couldn't recall ever actually seeing the albino walk.

"Hello Matt." Near greeted, breaking the stunned silence.

"Uh… hi." Matt said, "So… what are you doing here, man?"

"I… am not sure." Near admitted, looking away and raising his hand to twirl at his hair. "I think I'm waiting for Mello." Matt tried to find the proper words to convey just how _terrible_ an idea this was.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but if Mello finds _you_ in his room he'll probably blow up and take half the orphanage with him." Matt informed the younger boy. Near peeked up and Matt would say that his expression had turned from blank to just slightly wry.

"Is there any _right_ way to take that?" The albino observed. Matt blinked.

"Guess not. Sorry. But it is true." Matt replied. Near looked away again.

"Probably… but I have to talk to him about something." The pale boy stated.

"Okay… But I still think this is just… again I mean no offense, but this is really a very bad plan." Matt said apologetically. Near didn't glance up again, but cocked his head curiously.

"Do you have a better one?"

Matt did. "Yeah, you go back to your playroom, and when Mello gets here I'll tell him you wanted to talk. That way he won't feel like you're invading his territory and may actually listen instead of…"

"Blowing up?" Near offered.

"Yes. That." Matt agreed.

"Alright." Near smoothly pushed himself up, and shuffled out of the room. Matt stared after him, and shook his head a few times, trying to clear it.

"That was weird…" The redhead muttered, and settled down on his bed to play his game while waiting for Mello.

Roughly half an hour later, Mello came back from his extra study course, and plopped down on his own bed. The blonde snagged a chocolate bar from his nightstand's drawer, tore open the wrapping, and sank his teeth into the sweet. Matt decided that as long as Mello had chocolate, bringing up the subject of Near was only _mildly_ dangerous.

"So Mel…"

"Yeah Matt?"

"Near was looking for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Said he had to talk to you about something. Probably back in his playroom by now."

"I see." Mello chomped on his chocolate. Matt waited. Mello took another bite. Still, Matt waited. Mello finished his chocolate bar and grasped another. He was about halfway through it when Matt decided to hell with it.

"Aren't you going to go?" The redhead asked. Mello made a disdainful noise through a mouthful of chocolate.

"No." The blonde licked the melting bar carefully.

"Why not?" Matt ventured on bravely. Mello fixed him with a glare.

"Because it's _Near_." The blonde answered. "Why the hell would I want to humor Near?" And just like that, Matt lost it. He dropped his game on his pillow, leapt up, and whirled to face Mello.

"I dunno! Maybe because you're freakin' in love with him!?" Matt shouted. Mello opened his mouth, a murderous expression firmly fixed in place, but Matt didn't give him the chance. "God, Mello, don't even try and shut me down! I've only been watching you obsess over him since he _got_ here! I've had to listen to every fucking rant, hear every little detail, even about stuff I was there for! I put up with it because you're my best friend, and because I know you'd beat the crap out of me anyway. I am so sick of hearing Near this, and Near that, and on and on and then you try to tell me you hate the guy!? That you're not even going to go see what it was he wanted to say?"

Mello's anger had been shattered by shock, his eyes widening as he watched his best friend's tirade. The chocolate bar had slipped from his fingers and landed on the carpet, but he didn't even notice.

"Just go Mello, ok!? Come back and kick my ass afterwards if it'll make you feel better, but just fucking go and talk to him." Matt finished, breathing hard. His deep gasps were all that could be heard in the room for several minutes. And then…

"Alright, Matt."

The redhead stared at his best friend, hardly daring to believe it.

"Alright. I'll go talk to him." Mello slid off his bed, padding lightly towards the door. Matt's eyes followed the blonde, any moment the gamer expected to suddenly wake up. He didn't. Mello seized the handle and pulled.

Near stood there, in the doorway, his left hand poised to knock and his right entangled in his pale curls. The boy's eyes were unusually wide, and he focused them dazedly on Mello.

Clearly, Near had been standing there for some time, and had heard the entire exchange. Mello recovered surprisingly well.

"Yes?" The blonde raised an eyebrow delicately.

"I…" Near stared at Mello, lost for words. Matt stared at the duo, now certain that Mello wasn't just going to thrash him, but literally and painfully end his existence. Matt only wished he'd gotten the chance to try the new Mario game before he went.

Then Near straightened his back, standing on his toes to reach as high as he could, and brushed a kiss against Mello's stunned lips. The albino turned, and walked away, leaving a staggered Matt and an astounded Mello behind, craning their necks to watch him as he reached the stairs and began his way down.

When Near was out of sight, Mello closed the door, took measured steps back to his bed, sat down, and proceeded to spend the next hour watching the chocolate bar he'd dropped earlier melt on the carpet.

Matt eventually shook himself out of his stupor, and quietly resumed his game, deciding it would be in his best interests not to disturb Mello in this state.

From then on, Mello went to the playroom weekly. Matt never complained about being ranted at again. Near was seen to smile brightly at random intervals. And a stain marred the carpet in Matt and Mello's room that no amount of scrubbing could completely get out.

END.

A/N: Well... that's all folks! Hope you all had as much fun reading as I did writing it! And once again I must pelt you all with desperate requests for reviews! Please! Please review! Come on it's December! Where's your Christmas spirit!?


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